Tag: girls

My Boyfriend Is Not A Babysitter

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I don’t go out with friends often, but sometimes when I do, my boyfriend will stay home with our girls. When I’m able to do something, usually because of prior commitments to my family, I’m constantly asked, “well can’t he just babysit them while you’re gone?” This is the question that bugs me, it’s wrong on so many levels.

Yes, Dagen is only my boyfriend, but he is also the father to both of our children. Meaning, we share the responsibilities surrounding the children equally. We both feed them, change diapers, bathe them, put them to bed, etc. And yes, sometimes I’m home with them while he goes out, and vice versa, but that doesn’t mean he is babysitting. It means that her is being a parent, taking on the same roles of a mother. If it’s not called babysitting when I do it, then why is it called babysitting when he does it?

I’m constantly asked if Dagen can handle watching both girls for however amount of time. But the thing is, I don’t worry about Dagen watching the girls like I would worry with a babysitter. They are always fed, changed, and happy when they are with him, so I have nothing to worry about. I trust him completely with both our girls. Yes, he may feel like he wants to rip his hair out sometimes, but the kids are always cared for and he is always happy when I come home.

Over the years, I have even gotten comments such as, “I’m impressed that you’re leaving him home with the children” and “you’re making him into a great father by letting him babysit them”. Uhm, no! You shouldn’t be impressed with me for letting him watch them when he is their FATHER and taking on the responsibilities of a parent. Also, I’m not making him into a good father by letting him watch his children, he is making himself into a good father by what HE is doing on his own. I don’t understand why people always think that it is me that is shaping him into the person that he is. I have no part in that at all.

He is an awesome and engaged father. He takes on all the roles that a parent should. He is overly involved, a part of everything that they do in their lives, helps them figure out their way through situations, and give them some of the best advice as a father. He helps them with absolutely everything, he is their role model. So, no, he is not the babysitter, he is their father. So please, stop asking me is Dagen is babysitting when he is just being a father.

How I Prepared My Daughter For A Sibling

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I always thought the one of the scariest, but best, things in life was to have a child. Boy was I wrong. It was one of the best things, but, the scariest was getting pregnant with your second child because you never know how the first child will react. But everyone always expects the worst. You expect the first child to be sad and jealous. Sometimes you expect even worse like kicking, hitting, biting, etc. All of this was everything that I expected, and more, but what I got was the complete opposite. Savannah was amazing! She was so happy and loving towards her sister, and it absolutely melted my heart, it still does.

When pregnant with Elle, we were beyond worried about how Savannah would react since she was used to being an only child and having all of our attention all the time. We were expecting her to lash out towards us, and towards her sister. So, we started to look for different ways to try and make the transition easier for her. During this time, google became our best friend. We, meaning I, read a ton of online mommy forums and came across a bunch of different suggestions. We obviously chose the suggestions that were best fitted for Savannah and her age.

One of these suggestions was to constantly talk to Savannah about how there was a baby in my tummy that would come out one day. We would tell her that the baby will play with her when she gets bigger and that the baby is going to be Savannah’s best friend. Well, she got so excited about this that she wants us to take the baby out right away so they could play and be friends. Another thing we did was keep Savannah as involved as much as possible before and after her sister was born. When we first told her that we were having another baby, she was clearly very confused and wasn’t sure what to think about everything. So, we decided to keep her as involved in the pregnancy as we could. This meant that Savannah came to all the doctors’ appointments, got to hear her sister’s heartbeat and see her in an ultrasound. She even wanted to help me put cream on my stomach all the time. She was super excited about being a big sister she just wanted to be part of everything.

After Elle was born, we still tried to keep Savannah as involved as ever so that she didn’t feel left out. We would ask her to bring us the diapers or the wipes during a diaper change. She would try to give Elle her bottle every time she started crying and would grab Elle an outfit when she needed to get dressed. She loved being able to hold Elle all the time and she never wanted to let go.   


Another thing we did that I found to be super effective, was to get Savannah a special baby. We took her to the store and let her pick any baby that she wanted and got her accessories to go with it. We got her stuff like a bottle, diapers, a stroller, a highchair, etc. She took that baby everywhere for months on end. We showed her the proper way to hold a baby, showed her how to feed it, and how to change its diaper. While she was playing, we would tell her she had to stop and feed her baby every so often. We would also remind her she had to be quiet because baby was sleeping. Without having to tell her anything, she tried to share her toys with the doll. She was so excited to be a big sister and we knew she was going to be an amazing one.

Going from one child to another is not only hard on the parents who are trying to adjust and find routine, but also on the other child(ren). It’s one of the biggest changes that a child will go through. But there are always things that you can do to try and make the transition easier. And sometimes, it can be the smallest things that can make the biggest change. But it’s not always going to be smooth sailing, no matter how hard you try to prepare. The important thing is to keep trying and never give up. Even if the child acts out or seems like they don’t like their sibling, they are already best friends with a special place in each others hearts.