Tag: baby

What To Expect After Delivery (The Brutal Truths All First Time Moms Need To Know)

alyssa1531Leave a comment

Even though you’re giving birth to your child, which is one of the most beautiful things in this world, the labour itself is not. There are a lot of things that you aren’t aware of going into labour, and things that you think people are over exaggerating about but are not. So, here are some brutal truths that all first-time moms need to know about labour, that people won’t tell you.

Labour hurts. Like, a lot. So, most women opt for an epidural. For those who don’t know what this is, it’s a huge needle that goes into your spine to help numb you from the pain. And it doesn’t always work. So basically, you get a giant needle, that can paralyze you, put into your spine that only has a 50/50 chance of working. If you do go this route, you end up getting a catheter because you are unable to get up. Keep in mind, if your epidural doesn’t work, like mine didn’t, you can feel it and it is extremely uncomfortable.

You will most likely poop. Sounds gross, I know. But when you’ve been in labour for hours and they finally tell you that you are ready to push, you get a rush of adrenaline and start pushing. You don’t know what to push, so you push everything, which causes a lot of women to poop. It’s completely normal so don’t worry about it or be embarrassed about it. The nurses are totally used to it. Since you can’t eat anything while in labour, except popsicles and ice chips, you’re going to be pushing out anything that is left in your body, making it a gross smelling poop. Again, completely normal so no need to be embarrassed about it.

Alright, now its time for your placenta. Your baby has been born, but now you have to “give birth” to the placenta. So many people told me that it just falls out, no pushing, no helping it out, nothing. WRONG. You don’t have to push it out, but your nurse will be pushing super hard on your stomach to try and help this thing out. You are already in pain and tired from pushing out your baby, and now they are giving you the most painful massage on your stomach. Their pushing does make it just fall out, you don’t have to push, but it doesn’t just fall out on its own.

So, like I said, labour is not beautiful. It is bloody. Super bloody. You have the blood from the baby being born, the blood from the placenta coming out, the blood from pushing out your catheter during labour (like I did). In the words of my boyfriend, it can look like a bloody massacre down there, and he is so right. I saw all the cloths and everything else they were moving away from me and using to clean up all the blood, and there was a lot. Such grossness for such a beautiful thing.

Your down below is going to be a mess! You will obviously bleed a lot during delivery, but if you tear than you’ll bleed even more. You’ll be all swollen and possibly stitched. And sometimes when pushing, you can push out the catheter, like I did, and it can be even more of a mess down there. You will be such a mess and sore down there, that it will sting to pee, and you can’t wipe after. Because of this, the hospital will give you a little squirt bottle to clean yourself off after you go.

You will have a really heavy period. Regardless if you had a c-section or delivered natural, if you breastfeed or bottle feed. When I say heavy period, I mean wearing those giant overnight pads two to six weeks. Welcome to feeling like a fourteen-year-old girl again. And even if your body is feeling up to it, you can’t wear a tampon. If you do, you could cause an infection.   

Breastfeeding isn’t as easy and glamourous as it is made out to be. A lot of the time, the baby will have trouble latching, and if they do latch, they may not be doing it the proper way. If they aren’t doing it the proper way, it will start off as uncomfortable and progress to painful with cracked and bloody nipples. Which, if you can’t tell, would be painful as heck. Your boobs will start to get engorged and become really painful. And honestly, it can get even worse if the baby is not latching because your boobs will just be getting more and more engorged with nothing being removed from them.

Post partum depression is a real thing and you are not invincible. More women than you would think, end up with this depression. There are many different stages of it which can make some people have it worse than others. It is more common than you like to believe so if you think it is something that you suffer with, do not be ashamed to talk to your doctor about it. It is not something that you need to be ashamed of or scared of. Aside from your doctor, there are many different resources you can reach out to that can provide you with the help and support that you will need.   

Why Formula Feeding Was The Best Choice I Made As A Parent

alyssa1531Leave a comment

I know this post is going to cause a lot on controversy because for some reason, this seems to be a huge debate where mothers are constantly put down over choices they make for their children. I chose to formula feed so if this is something that you disagree with, you may as well stop reading now. Choosing to formula feed Savannah and Elle was the best decision I have ever made as a mother.

When I was pregnant with Savannah, I thought about all the things I planned to do as a mother. One of these things included breastfeeding. It was something that I always wanted since finding out I was pregnant, a bond that I wanted to have with my child. A bond that I believed would make me a better mother. Unfortunately, this didn’t happen. I was only able to breastfeed for three weeks. I wasn’t producing enough milk for her between feedings and pumping.

Because I wasn’t producing enough milk, Savannah was constantly hungry, crying, and grumpy. She wouldn’t sleep much, she started to become inconsolable. Because of this, I made the decision to switch to formula. What a difference, let me tell you. She started to sleep, she barely cried, and we were able to keep her calm and happy. We were able to catch up on our sleep, we were happier, and it put less strain on our relationship. Switching to formula made Savannah happy and made us happy as well.

Fast forward three years to when I was pregnant with Elle. I told myself I was going to try again to breastfeed. I told myself I wouldn’t give up. But, after two weeks, I did. Some people don’t know but Elle was born early, and she was a couple weeks behind in development while in the womb. Because of this, she was tiny and had issues latching. It wasn’t until her actual due date that she started to latch (3.5 weeks, technically 5.5 weeks after she was born). I was trying to pump during this time but wasn’t having much luck. When she did latch, I couldn’t feed her enough because my supply had decreased immensely. So once again I switched to formula.

For the longest time, I felt like an awful mother, like a failure. I felt like I couldn’t do the one thing that all mothers are expected to do. One day, it just hit me. Breastfeeding is something that mothers are EXPECTED to do, not that they HAVE to do to be a good mother. Sometimes people just can’t breastfeed, and for different reasons. Some mothers don’t produce enough milk, some babies are lactose intolerant, some mothers have medical issues that can prevent them from breastfeeding, and many more. And for some reason, mothers are shamed for giving their child formula because of these reasons.

Thinking back now, I regret thinking that of myself. I would never change the choice that I made. Not only were both children happy, but my partner and I were able to split the responsibilities more. Not only could we both take turns feeding them during the day because of the bottle, but that means that we could also take turns feeding them during the night so that we were both able to get sleep. Because of formula, not only was he able to leave for work for the day, but I was able to go out for a few hours when he was home and not have to worry about anything because I know she was still getting fed. And most importantly, my babies were HAPPY and they were FED.

I don’t understand why mothers are put down so much for formula feeding their children. As long as your child is happy, fed, and healthy, then why does it matter if they have formula or breast milk? Being a mother is hard because others are always judging what we do. But instead of judging each other, we need to come together and build each other up. We need to respect the choices that parents make for their children because a lot of the time, we don’t know why they are making certain choices but it’s none of our business. As long as the child is happy and healthy, stop judging parents and encourage them for their child thriving.