I know this post is going to cause a lot on controversy because for some reason, this seems to be a huge debate where mothers are constantly put down over choices they make for their children. I chose to formula feed so if this is something that you disagree with, you may as well stop reading now. Choosing to formula feed Savannah and Elle was the best decision I have ever made as a mother.
When I was pregnant with Savannah, I thought about all the things I planned to do as a mother. One of these things included breastfeeding. It was something that I always wanted since finding out I was pregnant, a bond that I wanted to have with my child. A bond that I believed would make me a better mother. Unfortunately, this didn’t happen. I was only able to breastfeed for three weeks. I wasn’t producing enough milk for her between feedings and pumping.
Because I wasn’t producing enough milk, Savannah was constantly hungry, crying, and grumpy. She wouldn’t sleep much, she started to become inconsolable. Because of this, I made the decision to switch to formula. What a difference, let me tell you. She started to sleep, she barely cried, and we were able to keep her calm and happy. We were able to catch up on our sleep, we were happier, and it put less strain on our relationship. Switching to formula made Savannah happy and made us happy as well.
Fast forward three years to when I was pregnant with Elle. I told myself I was going to try again to breastfeed. I told myself I wouldn’t give up. But, after two weeks, I did. Some people don’t know but Elle was born early, and she was a couple weeks behind in development while in the womb. Because of this, she was tiny and had issues latching. It wasn’t until her actual due date that she started to latch (3.5 weeks, technically 5.5 weeks after she was born). I was trying to pump during this time but wasn’t having much luck. When she did latch, I couldn’t feed her enough because my supply had decreased immensely. So once again I switched to formula.
For the longest time, I felt like an awful mother, like a failure. I felt like I couldn’t do the one thing that all mothers are expected to do. One day, it just hit me. Breastfeeding is something that mothers are EXPECTED to do, not that they HAVE to do to be a good mother. Sometimes people just can’t breastfeed, and for different reasons. Some mothers don’t produce enough milk, some babies are lactose intolerant, some mothers have medical issues that can prevent them from breastfeeding, and many more. And for some reason, mothers are shamed for giving their child formula because of these reasons.
Thinking back now, I regret thinking that of myself. I would never change the choice that I made. Not only were both children happy, but my partner and I were able to split the responsibilities more. Not only could we both take turns feeding them during the day because of the bottle, but that means that we could also take turns feeding them during the night so that we were both able to get sleep. Because of formula, not only was he able to leave for work for the day, but I was able to go out for a few hours when he was home and not have to worry about anything because I know she was still getting fed. And most importantly, my babies were HAPPY and they were FED.
I don’t understand why mothers are put down so much for formula feeding their children. As long as your child is happy, fed, and healthy, then why does it matter if they have formula or breast milk? Being a mother is hard because others are always judging what we do. But instead of judging each other, we need to come together and build each other up. We need to respect the choices that parents make for their children because a lot of the time, we don’t know why they are making certain choices but it’s none of our business. As long as the child is happy and healthy, stop judging parents and encourage them for their child thriving.
Our Crazy Life 